prep, props, joy and sadness

Graduation prep is tomorrow and Friday is the day. Then a weeklong intensive seminar on James…and then done!

I feel the end coming soon, and I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Part of me is anxious to be done, spend some time with the family (mine & Judy’s) and then move on to our first appointment of service. But part of me is mourning. Despite all the things that I have resented about my time here at BBC, all of my experiences, both good and bad, have formed or been a catalyst for who I am today: and for that I praise God. There are some great relationships that have been formed in my time here:

PROPS

My first year I was befriended & mentored by Rumple & Pervis (nicknames); AP who was around for 2 years…still a great influence in my life and a dedicated leafs fan (Go Leafs Go)

My second year I was blessed with who I now considered one of my best friends, Adam Durkee. He has been a source of encouragement and an example in my life, then and now - Judy & I started dating then too; Met Nierer who is a true honest friend, whom I value dearly (can’t wait to me in MI close to him) and Jeremiah who is a source of wisdom and leadership.

Third year I met Dutchie (you will be missed) and had a great roommate (Don Gilmore). What a year of blessing and hope; The Mexican spoke words of wisdom in my life and let me test the potency of his heart medication several times (do you remember the times?) And of course my nizzle Aza Butcher…Sista you are the real thing.

Fourth year: internship @ Watermark (the transformation and beginning of the journey) and marriage to Judy (the beginning of a great thing); now in my last semester I’ve made new acquaintances: Stallion has been a good source of balance and level headedness in my life; Weiner (best nickname EVER!) has been a great friend and been fun. He has so much potential (and is realizing it now); Missy G. soon to be Missy Nierer has been a blessing to bounce these obscure/abstract new thoughts about life and Christianity off of.

There are many more than have impacted my life, but these are those who are coming to mind now. The thought of never seeing these people again saddens me. I pray that our paths cross many times again.

It’s strange, but at this moment, I feel an incredible sense of peace and joy that I am a blessed man. “And these God-chosen lives all around – what splendid friends they make.” (Psalm 16 – Message)

With tears
Roach out.

It is finished

So, I just wrote my last exam....and can I exclaim how glad I am to be done this ridiculous modernistic way of evaluating knowledge. The regurgitation of lists and facts does nothing to prepare to be a worker of the harvest (as the brochure promises). Long gone now are the days of hours spent trying to cram into my brain useless redundancies that I will NEVER use. Or classes that teach barely anything concerning the subject you signed up for (i.e. Outreach Ministries). Or professors who don't actually read your work, but give you an arbritary grade based on how their spouse treated them that morning, or student-graders with a self-righteous aura determining the worth of your work by if you said hello to them nicely today or not.

Ok, I know this nothing but chronic complaining...so I'll stop

Roach out.

Voltron - Defender of the Universe

Voltron

Growing up, my brother and I loved cartoons. This was my favorite: Voltron. Every day after school it would be on 4:00 sharp! we woudn't miss it for the world. I just got a few episodes yesterday and it is SWEETNESS!!! it's a trip down memory lane. I even have the action figure, the one that has all 5 lions that transform into Voltron...now I can't wait to go home and play with it...and let's get this straight (this is for Drummer dude) it's an ACTION FIGURE...NOT A DOLL!!!!

Anyway, does anyone else remember this classic cartoon?
Roach out.

The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus

I'm reading this book by Brennan Manning (see title). It's been over a month since I've done any reading to feed my soul, but today, after my first exam, I decided to pick this one up and read some. Here's a quote that really impacted me:

"His [God's] love is gratuitous in a way that defies our imagination. It is for this reason that we can proclaim with theological certainty in the power of the Word: God loves you as you are and not as you should be! Do you believe this? That God loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity, that Heloves you in the morning sun and the evening rain, that He loves you without caution, regret, boundary, limit or breaking point?”

I can't explain how much this further frees me. When I think of Ephesians 3 and how deep, wide, long and high God's love is, it defies my imagination. or to think that God loves me as I am, and not as I think I need to be. It frees me to love him...to not feel like I need to earn it or somehow my life doesn't disappoint him...he loves me without "caution, regret, boundary, limit or breaking point"....that's awe-inspiring.

Hope this frees you to,
Roach out.

Last day of classes

So I handed in my last paper, my last reading assignment and am about to head to my last class.

It feels good.

Roach out.

Revelatory freedom

Have you ever had a revelation that brought you to a new level of freedom. Freedom to live & love God for deeply. Well today, while taking a shower (funny how most revelations come in the bathroom) I was hit with a some info that really motivated me to push through what was presently frustrating me.

This past week has been tough. I have one paper left: Doctrine of Holiness - A Wesleyan view of Entire Sanctification. Tough topic in the sense that I really need to nail it down in 1000 words (which is NOT alot) So all week I've fought the idea that I need to do this...why do I need to learn this. I understand holiness and can apply it to my life. So I didn't want to learn anymore of this high density theological I need my doctorate to explain stuff.

So back to the shower...I started to think about how I am a relational person, and how all I want to do is build relationships and live life with people, going through this journey together. then I recalled a conversation that I had with someone who isn't wired to be administrative. He told me that he found that he didn't hate doing admin stuff when he looked at it from the side of doing it for the purpose of relationship. it freed him to be relational and helped him develop more with people who were wired that way. Then God hit me with it: There is a purpose for you learning this "high density theological I need my doctorate to explain stuff", it's so I can be all things to all people. It's so I can build relationships with people who are wired that way...who are intellectuals and want to talk about this kind of theological dense stuff. In an instant I was freed from my frustration and had a new desired to really nail this paper and learn all I could.

Can anyone relate? I feel like rejoicing. I can't explain how much this revelation has freed me to press on.
Roach out.

Drum rolllllll please!!!

It gives me immense pleasure to announce that Judy & I will be in Grand Haven, Michigan, serving at:



being the Church, making disciples

See you soon GH!

Roach out.

Guns n' Roses nostalgia

G n' R

This past weekend I was in Maine, and I visited a Best Buy (to return my laptop) and visited the CD/DVD section. I bought a few DVD's, but my most exciting purchase was Gun's n' Roses' greatest hits.

I"m listening to them right now...man it brings back memories of slow dancing to November Rain.

Thinking back...WAY back
Roach out.

The Humanity of Christ

Tonight was a good night. I had the blessing of teaching tonight about the humanity of Christ. The average age of the attending: 65. But it was great.

I love looking at Jesus's humanity. I think we have done a great job of divinizing Christ, and rightfully so, he is God. But I think we miss the other part of his nature. He was also fully man. He hurt, he cried, he got splinters, stubbed his toe, got angry, sad, lonely, he questionned God and doutbted. I find so much freedom when looking at the humanity of Christ. He was free to be human, to be real. It takes so much pressure of me, pressure and condemnation I heap on myself and I receive from "the church." It's not the life God intented, to live under the pressure of trying to be something that appears to be holy and righteous. I am free to be me, and that person is a child of the Father, a friend of the Son and a yielder to the Spirit.

Man what a life.
Roach out.

‘Humble Me’ stamped on my forehead

So last night I wrote about my gages drying up and how tried I felt, and worst how my time with God was suffering. Man, how I belittled God, letting guilt set in to take away my freedom. This was made clear, crystal clear to me a few hours after I posted the ‘poor pitiful me’ rant.

I was on MSN and started chatting with an old friend from high school. Her grandfather’s cancer has kicked into high gear and has traveled from his bones to his brain, causing seizures. She started taking about her guilt for not spending nearly as much time as she felt she should have with him, and how she was going down on Friday to hopefully see him before he possibly passes away (he’s 84). Then she started to talk about these dreams she has been having for two weeks about how someone is trying to kill her, and most times that person is the devil. This past week, she says she’s been using, in her dream, the Lord’s Prayer to combat her assailant. All this coming from the mouth of someone who doesn’t claim to be a follower of Christ.

So she calls me to further discuss this and we are having supper Thursday to talk about ‘spiritual things’. I am excited.

Here’s where the ‘humble me’ stamped on my forehead was revealed.

In my state of being ‘dried up’ and feeling like I had nothing to offer God but sloppy seconds, he drops in my lap, an opportunity to love someone and share life with her. And in that moment, I was full of energy, full of focus and attention. It was the most amazing thing. I was so arrogant to think that I needed to rest up and focus on God so that I could do his work, rather than resting in God’s presence and power and allowing him to turn my weakness into strength and my apathy into love. What a lesson I had to re-discover. God is my all. It’s not about what I can offer him… he’s not a God of quantity, but of quality. I doubt he cares about how much I can offer him, as long as it’s my all, by very self, that will appease his desire. Even if my all is nothing or ‘sloppy seconds’.

So stamp ‘humble me’ on my forehead and call me blessed.

Roach out.

Drying up!

My gages are drying up. I remember a while back, Mr. Deurty posted something about he going through cycles...well this is my cycle. every end of the year, I get overwhelmed and my gages get low. First my physical gage has been dead for some time. Last weekend, with all the reading and this flu I have, drained my energy, and I can’t seem to get it back. Now, since have so much school work to do, I feel like I never leave my office, my spiritual gage is low cause whatever time I spent with God is short and not so sweet. I feel bad for giving him sloppy seconds. And since those are low, my emotional gage is all but not, and any time I try to give Judy is spent thinking about the work I could be getting done… all that to say I feel spent. Right now I’m writing a paper (rather large one) on a subject that I am very passionate about for a professor who either won’t read it, or will read it with half a brain and miss the point. What’s the use!

This, my friends, is a rant. Right now Judy’s gone out to get some comfort food (don’t tell Dr. Phil) and I’m making a good ol’ cup-a-joe (Elk Lake Talk).

I can’t wait for this semester to be done so I can spend time reading books and thinking about stuff that feeds my soul rather than perpetuating this modern institution who is stuck glorifying the past rather than working to preserve the future.

Ok done.

Roach out.

DeRoche's in B&W

Reasonable suspense

Ok, so I just realized that I hadn't given a reason for my lack of information. Here's the reason.

The 'church' that I will be serving has some business to take care of before they want me to announce to people the news. I am excited as I assume they are, but they requested that I shut my BIG YAPPER, until they can make the necessary preparations and take the steps to make sure it's a smooth transition.

Sorry for the delay...but now you all know I felt when it took TWO WEEKS to say goodby when I left Watermark (TWO WEEKS!)

Roach out. (and I don't mean the closet)

It's Official

But I can't tell what or where it is....sorry. I must remain THE TEASE.

it saddens me though that only two of you commented on the last post about the subject of where we are going after graduation. Thanks to Deur for the guess and for the Dummer, I mean D-r-ummer for caring.

Wait for it.....wait for it....

Roach "loving the suspense" out.

So then there were two

Ok, so admittedly this title has nothing to do with this post. Actually, I have no idea what this post is about. I just felt the need to write something, so here it is. Nothing profound or life changing…just life.

So I’m trying to get ahead in my work. I set a schedule to do so much work every day, so as to keep ahead. I’m finding that my motivation for getting this stuff done ahead of time very low. I enjoy not having to do stuff the night before and feeling the pressure, but I feel myself wanting to put it off. Man, I’m ready to be done. I find myself at times resenting assigned reading that does nothing for my soul or even my mind. Books that put the focus on us, or how to be successful in youth ministry. Or this is my favorite: a book about the “tricks of the trade” in youth ministry. Good that’s what we need, to have some un-intentional backup tricks to make sure everyone is pleased and having fun, so as not to “lose any sheep.”

Ok ranting done. Purpose lacking, not need to continue the torture.

Roach out.