Wednesday, April 06, 2005

‘Humble Me’ stamped on my forehead

So last night I wrote about my gages drying up and how tried I felt, and worst how my time with God was suffering. Man, how I belittled God, letting guilt set in to take away my freedom. This was made clear, crystal clear to me a few hours after I posted the ‘poor pitiful me’ rant.

I was on MSN and started chatting with an old friend from high school. Her grandfather’s cancer has kicked into high gear and has traveled from his bones to his brain, causing seizures. She started taking about her guilt for not spending nearly as much time as she felt she should have with him, and how she was going down on Friday to hopefully see him before he possibly passes away (he’s 84). Then she started to talk about these dreams she has been having for two weeks about how someone is trying to kill her, and most times that person is the devil. This past week, she says she’s been using, in her dream, the Lord’s Prayer to combat her assailant. All this coming from the mouth of someone who doesn’t claim to be a follower of Christ.

So she calls me to further discuss this and we are having supper Thursday to talk about ‘spiritual things’. I am excited.

Here’s where the ‘humble me’ stamped on my forehead was revealed.

In my state of being ‘dried up’ and feeling like I had nothing to offer God but sloppy seconds, he drops in my lap, an opportunity to love someone and share life with her. And in that moment, I was full of energy, full of focus and attention. It was the most amazing thing. I was so arrogant to think that I needed to rest up and focus on God so that I could do his work, rather than resting in God’s presence and power and allowing him to turn my weakness into strength and my apathy into love. What a lesson I had to re-discover. God is my all. It’s not about what I can offer him… he’s not a God of quantity, but of quality. I doubt he cares about how much I can offer him, as long as it’s my all, by very self, that will appease his desire. Even if my all is nothing or ‘sloppy seconds’.

So stamp ‘humble me’ on my forehead and call me blessed.

Roach out.

4 Comments:

Blogger Aaron Perry said...

i love it. peace.

9:37 PM  
Blogger C-Man said...

Hi Roach,

right back at you!

8:04 AM  
Blogger C-Man said...

is it really ok to use the phrase sloppy seconds and God in the same sentence?

1:16 PM  
Blogger Arkay said...

Dude...humble indeed...I pray that everything will go well and you will remain......
A humble Roach

9:26 PM  

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