King of Condition (not Conditional King)

It is easy to sing "Blessed be your name" on a Sunday morning or at camp when all is rosy and your troubles are long since Friday gone, but it takes grace to mutter in the most teeth clenched matter when the sky falls and makes the roses appear crushed and dead.
Today was like that. Last night we were informed through our wireless bill that we were being charged $250 for roaming since we got to Grand Haven. Previous to our move, we signed on to a plan that freed us from such charges, hence the reason we singed on. Apparently, that plan doesn't exist, but the once we actually were given only eliminated those charges as long as we're in a certain are, which is not the are we live in, but 4 hours east. The Company refuses to remove the charge, thus creating a very frustrating situation for the wife and I. This is were it started. This morning I found out that my bank likes to charge us for dipping into the overdraft. $6 per day we are in it, and $30 for each time we go into it, so we're are short $36 for admitedly our own fault. But it goes on, I called my Canadian bank to find out that when I make a payment with an American cheese's, it's frozen for 30 days. All this so say: AAAARRGGHH!
The whole time this is happening, both last night and this morning. I had this irritating song in my head that kept me sane.
Blessed be your name, when all around me fails, and the world is caving in on me, blessed be your name. It game me tremendous comfort to know that God was there with me. This morning I felt alone in the midst of his love, I still felt alone. I felt like God was allowing this trouble to happen because I was careless. Then I realized something. It hit me hard in prayer.
God is king over conditions, but he's not a conditional king. Get it. You see, God is God over all, and nothing is outside of his realm of control. Yes he allows things to happen, but not as a form of punishment or for reasons of wrath, but he allows things to happen in order to be true to his gift to us: free will. God's love is not bent on my actions or if I take the proper steps, and it is not proportional, directly or indirectly, to the way the world interacts with me. God is separate and distinct from the world, because he is God. The creator is not define by his creation. If God manipulated the world, then yes he would be the reason this "bad stuff" is happening, but God is so violently protecting free will due to his love for us because he is sovereign... I get it. I get that God loves me. He is the King over all conditions, he transcend them all. But, glory to his name, he is not conditional, tallying up score to see if I qualify for bonus blessings.

Roach out.

Used Q-Tip

A used Q-Tip. That is the message I have ingested with great zeal. The world would say that I am a used Q-Tip. I have been dipped into the inner recesses of the worlds ear, have made attempts at cleaning up the muck, but have failed by standards that do not exist, and thus am discarded. The world would say.
The world would say that this is the end of the story, tragic and filled with despair: "Tis sad, no grace can save him now, he may try to relive his usefulness, but no grace can revive him now."
The world would say.
Who gave the world quotable potency? Surely not God, but I. I have given the creation a power, a place of authority that belongs to none other than the creator. While the world would say that I am hopeless and find no other place but in rubbish , the Lord would say "come unto me all who have been considered rubbish and I will show you grace", "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."(2 Cor 12:9)
Grace: I don't understand it, but then if I did it wouldn't be grace, but a surefire crutch to which I could put in my closet and use at my pleasure. Mercy: I don't deserve it, but then if I did then it wouldn't be mercy, it would be something that I have earned, a right or privilege.
The Lord would say: "I love you, and regardless of what you or anyone would say, I love you. My grace is enough to make you what I know you are. My grace covers you and makes you righteous. My love covers your sins. It not only pushes them aside, they are covered, by my sacrifice. I love you, and my love never fails."

God is not watching over us to ensure we keep in step with his plan. He is not watching over us to keep track of the measure of blessings and curses to pour down. He is watching over us to keep his gaze upon us, to ensure that grace is always available, to keep true to his word that he will never forsake us. He watches over us with love, and longs for us not to love him, but for us to know that he loves us. God doesn't need you or I for anything. He surely doesn't need our love to survive or to be worthy. He desires us to love him, but what he desires more than anything is for us to know he loves us.

Thus the inaugural step to life through grace is taken.

Blurred

2 Corinthians 3:18.
Blurred: that's who I was and that is who I am.
C.S. Lewis took a very old story, called metamorphosis, and transformed it into his version called Till We Have Faces. you may have read it, you may not have. Here's the rundown roach style: A beautiful girl is wedded by a god (cupid), who conceles his image from her. He visits her at night and she is forbidden to look upon him.
In the story, at least my take on Lewis' version, Cupid doesn't have a face, at least not to his bride. Until he is seed, he is nothing but a dream, a memory, faded and unknown. Till he has a face, she can never know him, never know him truly.
2 Cor. 3:18 says this: "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
Blurred. I was blurred. This week at camp, I was caught off guard. I was previously asked by falcon and Fackler to come up with some games for Kaleo Madman Camp this week, so I did. I expected only to be a part of camp, but turned out I was to lead the camp in night games and other events. I was floored and excited. I didn't expect this opportunity, but there it was, like GOd saying : "Here you go, a chance to be a part of the action." It was great. I hadn't lead middle schooler before except for one sunday school lesson, and that was weak. They respondent, with gusto. I had no idea I was like that. I had no idea I could be that energetic and crazy. I had no idea I was able to connect with middleshoolers one on one and in a crowd. I was great.
This is the point.
My image just changed. I have become less blurred. My image has been transformed more into the likeness of Christ, which is what he created me to be. I starting to look more like myself. But at the same time I still don't have a face. And till I have a face, my transformation will not be complete. I will keep "being transformed into his likeness." I was blurred and still am, but with more focus.
Till we have face, we cannot be known, and to be known is to know. To fully know ourselves in Christ is to know Christ. He has hidden his likeness in our image, we are in his, the vine and the branch. with every step we talk in this life, with every move we make with the Almighty creator and lover of our soul, we are revealed more of our faces and this in a reflection see more of the face of God. Be known and know.
Roach out.