Oh Beautiful frailty

I’ve been spending the last couple of days at my brother’s place. He works night and sleeps days, so that gave a ton of time to sit, reflect and surf the web. I started to look at the weak areas of my life, and as I listed them off, I was struck back at how long that list is. I kept digging and digging and began to realized that left to my own vice, I was really unable to maintain anything. Despair hit hard as I realized that I was, in essence, as incapable, weak and defenseless as a new born. But in that same moment as I saw my weakness, I felt strong. It was so strange. I began to see what Paul meant when he said that in my weakness is God’s strength made complete.
Brennan Manning once wrote that the prostitutes and drunkards get into heaven before us “faithful” Christians because they bet everything they have on the grace of Christ. They realize that they have nothing to lose, while we hold on to everything so dearly and are deathly afraid to lose something that isn’t ours. We fear for our lives, we fear poverty, we fear ridicule, we fear living out of the limelight…we fear. But they, they get it. You see, we have nothing to lose. Everything we have is rubbish, trash in light of having Christ. It all ties together. My weakness is made complete when I realize that all that I have and am is really nothing in light of Christ then the weight that hinders and entangles me in this race is shed. It all ties together.
So I sit here now in praise that I am frail. That all that I am, all that I’ve worked for, my reputation, my gifts, my skills, my pride, my arrogance, my knowledge…all of that is nothing. And that’s ok. Because I know Christ.
I may have lost the world, but I have gained my soul.
Oh beautiful frailty; I am weak. And I’m loving every minute of it.
Roach out.

Quickee

Here's a quickee update. I've been at my brother's for the past few days. It's been great. We watched monthy python's "quest for the holy grail" last night, it's kind of a Christmas tradition with us. It's such a classic. I wish I had a holy hand grenade.
anyway, I noticed that I made it on Deur's link list. I"d like to thank my parents for having me an dmaking this day possible, for Deurty for beleiving in me enough to add me, and I'd like to thank the G-O-D, for not resting on the sixth day and making man. I dedicate this honour (yes I know there is a "u" there, it's how it's spelled in Canada) to White Bread for letting me get close to him that one time.
Roach Out.

Crashed and Burned into Apathy

For the last week I’ve had nothing to do. I’ve tried to do some reading and writing, but I’ve been completely unmotivated. I did thought get to go spend the day and night with my brother. It was great. I love that guy. We had a great talk too. He’s in a place now where he’s seeking. He’s unsatisfied with the direction of his life and feels like he has no purpose. Let me give you a little background. Jamie (my brother) was severely burned by the church, more specifically people from the a church. So anyway, he’s been rejecting God ever since. He once had faith, but has since lost it. Since Judy and I have been together, he’s been more and more open to spiritual matters. Now that Judy and I are back, he’s really open. It’s quite exciting. I’ve been telling him that I’ve been learning and he says he would have loved to see Watermark in action. Anyway, he’s coming down for a week after Christmas and we’re going to get to hang out a ton, which I hope the conversation will swing around to his future. I think he’d made a great kids pastor. He’s truly gifted in that area, and he has a very big heart, he’s tender and gentle. He’s really a great guy. I can’t wait to for him and I to sit down and reminisce about all the times we beat each other up and argue about who made who do what. Ah.. family!
On a side note, I’m humbled to say I miss the USA. Well, let me specify. I miss fountain pop, G&L, zingers and cheaper gas. But I am glad to be home where being French isn’t a sin.
So to recap, I’ve done nothing productive, and my brother is coming down for a week, I’m French and craving a diet coke. And it’s really cold here…Life is Good.
Roach out.

Smack dab in the middle of nowhere

So we’re home. After a combined 30 hours and then some driving, we’re home. We got up this morning at 8 feeling odd. We would have been at Watermark for an hour setting up, but instead we were moping around looking for the coffee. I was a sad moment. But we’re glad to be home. Today we’ll see the family, notably my French grandma. I will gain 20lbs by the time I leave her house tonight.
Yesterday we went looking for a place to live. Then we starting looking at what this semester will cost us, realizing once more, that living on faith isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s tough as heck. Anyway, the magic number, once apt. cost, food, and tuition is added, is $7000. That’s what we’re going to need. So whoever is reading this, ask God right now to bless my pagan brother with the million dollar winning ticket so he can pay my way through college. Just kidding, but not really. Part of me is fully confident that the Lord will provide as he has in the past, but the other part of me wants to fear and try and figure out a way on my own. This scarcity gene is hard to kill. It creeps up without warning. Anyway, it’ll be a ride, one that will surely bring more lessons and growth.
So we’re here for 4 weeks. I’m going to do nothing by write and read. But not for school, just for Roach. People don’t get that name when I tell them. They can’t figure out how that applies. I guess they just miss the point.
Missing Watermark,
Roach out.

Oh Canada!

Well, Deurty told me in with his best mafia voice that I should blog more often, and that I should talk about daily life things. So here I go....
The second we got back into Canada we did two things. First we went to Tim Horton's to get a REAL cup of coffee. Hmmm mmm good. I'm still feeling the buzz. The second thing was hold that beautiful colored money. A Blue five dollar bill. And coins...oh the coins...ok so I don't miss the coins, but it's still nice to see the maple leaf fly again.
I got a letter in the mail before we left for Canada, from Heritage Wesleyan. It was a no, which in a sense is a relief. A closed door is just as good as an open door. But on the bright side, my buddy Justin emailed me about Faith Wesleyan in Lansing, MI is in the hunt for a youth pastor, so I"m going to look into in. Pray for me.
Still missing all of you. Email me at iamtheroach@gmail.com

Roach out.