Time keeps slipping, slipping away...

Where does my time go? It's already Wednesday and I've just starting to get some realy work done. But it's been a good week so far:

Highlights:

Sunday Cession: good food for though from N8...what holds me back...
Sunday Hockey: we finally get a victory..game winner came with 22 secs left, we win 6-5
Monday Moto: we hit nearly 80...20 more and I love my hair
Tuesday: heard a great story about a guide who connected with a student...that's why we do what we do
Wednesday: breakfast w/ becker...can't beat it

now back to the real world and Sunday prep..

Jason

John 1:6-8 + Isa 55:8-9 = catalyst for change

“There once was a man, his name John, sent by God to point out the way to the Life-Light. He came to show everyone where to look, who to believe in. John was not himself the Light, he was there to show the way to the Light.” (John 1:6-8)

I am not myself the Light, I am here to show the way to the Light. Why does this speak to me? I admittedly think that I am the light, at times, maybe more often that I care to know. People can’t see what I see and can’t see it from my point of view…but why is it MY vision and MY point of view. Should I not be putting my efforts towards helping people see what God sees and seeing his point of view. Would His not be better than mine.

“I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work… For as the sky soars high above the earth, so the way I work surpasses that way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

I think I get so frustrated with others because I am wholly convinced that I have grabbed hold of God’s vision, that I have made it my own, and that I have set my life on a path to accomplish it’s goal. The problem with that is that God’s vision hasn’t gotten a hold of me, I haven’t surrendered to it and I have not allow it to set my life path.

The reality is that I am not God. Duh right? But my life reflects that I am at least equivalent to him. Since I rely on my vision which far surpasses other’s.

“Trust in me. That’s all I ask.” This is God’s message…

feeling the good, feeling the bad...

Now that GenMark's movements (watermark's student ministries) are in full swing, there are some highs & lows to deal with. It's not as bad as I've just madd it sounds, but it's the reality of what good ol' Dicky Starks would call the "bump & grind of minstry".

The good is really good. kids are connecting with God, the truth of Christ of being lived out amoungst leadership, people are growing, changing and being freed. We've had some guides make the huge transition from too self-concious to dance to daving their buns off. We've had some new leaders emerge and really take hold of the vision. We've had some longer term faithful leaders step up their game. All of which is overwhelmingly encouraging. I think of a conversation I had with a parent/servant of our students, and how excited I was to see this person so connected and aware of what's going on. goes to show that you can't read a book by looking at the cover, or something like that. I've also seen my wife grow in leaps & bounds, shedding off things that hinder (proud of you Judes).

The bad is not bad as much as it is, well, not as good. I feel tired. I find myself more and more consumed with the vision, with the purpose and if I'm being a catalyst or a hindrance. Being concious of motives and whether my heart really loves, or just want to give the impression of care is really taking a toll on my rest. I find myself awake at night dreaming of what it would be like to sleep...but wanting to be free of myself, to be saved from my fleshly desires and temptations. I think I'm re-finding the rhythm of my relationship with God, but it's a tyring journey to get there. I think I better understand when people have told me "we eat, breath and poop out this stuff".

This is my life... it is who I want to be...

thanks Father

keep it simple

"turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in his wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of his glory and grace"


...now we wait and see what grows strangely dim and permits the revelation of what is of true importance...

our Father is beautiful

only the lonely....dum dum dum doo wee doo waa

I miss my friends. I miss Adam. I miss Lor. I miss Justin (though I'll see him today). I miss AP. I miss Dutchie. I miss Jer. I miss my bro Jamie. I miss Donny Gilmore. I miss "weiner".

I know I have tons of friends here, but none of which do I share a deep history. I see those that I care about and that care about me, and I thank the Father I have them in my life. But I still long for the share history I have with some of my old college friends. We've been through much of out life and development together.

I guess I'm sad. bugs be that I am, since I have great people surrounding me right now. But this is how I feel.

...missing you...

Jason DeRoche