...learning to fly...learning to grow...learning to keep my mouth shut....

In my 3rd year at Bible school I sat down with a mentor and talked about explosive vs implosive personalities. My personality, of course, being explosive and his being implosive. He coached me through some things and reminded me that once you lose it (your cool) you've lost it. He also assured me that becoming implosive was no less healthy.
In a recent conversation with a dear friend (Go leafs go!), I was once again reminded of this long past conversation. This friend once again was the Lords tool in reminding me that the solution for a quick tongue and a passionate but wisdomless act, was not to just be quiet and not act and this bottling up the issue, but to move along with it, and allow Christ to redeem it, moving me closer to freedom from, well, me.

All of this led me back to a book I read in my 1st year at college. In this book, "Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life", the author discussed the silence and solitude for the purpose of Godliness. Now I'm a huge proponent of silence and solitude. I make it part of my life, although I haven't permitted my cup to be filled so to spill into the other areas of my life.

In a section entitled "To Learn Control of the Tongue", the author explains:

When you practice silence and solitude, you find that you don't need to say many things you think you need to say. In silence we learn to rely more on God's control in situations where we would normally feel compelled to speak, or to speak too much. We find out that He is able to manage situations in which we once thought our input was indispensable.

So in my silence, I have learned once again, that my input is not necessary. In fact, in most situations is quite redundant. In light of God's sovereingty, there is really no need to speak unless said words are commissioned and guided by his Spirit.

I'm not going to extremes and taking a vow of silence. But I am beginning to understand the benefits of taking every thought captive.

a note to the anonymous

There is very little power in anonymity.

I appreciate feedback and comments. I do. But when someone leaves an anonymous cheap shot to get a laugh or to egg me on, it doesn't nothing but tear down (not's Christ's intention), and when someone leaves a correcting note in hopes of helping but leaves it anonymous, it can only tell me that this person lacks the conviction to stand behind their point, leaving me no choice but to not take it with any weight.

I welcome comments and correction. But please let's have a conversation about it. Please stop these "drive by" shots in the dark.

the measure of a ministry...

Growing up Roman Catholic, we didn’t measured the success of a priest by how many parishioners he could successfully get to attend church in his Parish, on what would be considered a regular basis (that’s a loose basis.) Any given priest would have 2-3, maybe 4 churches that were under his leadership. So the overall size of the Parish trumped any given size of a single church. For example, the Bartibogue congregation was much larger than the Barryville congregation (Barryville was mine). It was at least 4 times bigger. But never did Barryville feel inadequate in light of Bartibogue. You see in the Roman Catholic church, at least in my day, it wasn’t about numbers. It wasn’t even about offering. It was about community difference. Every year each church would hold a “picnic” where they would have games for the kids, bake sales, bingo and later that night a dance with lots and lots of liquor (I know,…I know). The Barryville community always had a far better picnic. We would get all our heads together and think up the best possible way to reach out to our community. It was a small community, only about 500-600, and we knew everyone, but it was still a chance for us to serve people who didn’t come to church. Bartibogue, although having a much larger congregation and much more money, had a lackluster picnic that even the kids didn’t want to go to.

Now I realize that the Roman Catholic Church has not been the model for holiness and deep spiritual growth, but there is something to be said about the attitude of these two country churches. My must we make “numbers” our primary standard of growth. To be frank, it makes me sick to my stomach when church leaders make it the center point of discussion and the gage of success.

It’s really sad/disturbing when a leader/pastor does not get excited about a child/student/adult coming to a new understanding of faith in Jesus, or rediscovering Christ and experiencing an awakening, but is praising the Lord when we hit a new benchmark of attendance, even if it’s only for one week. Now, every church wants to grow, and we are all part of the crew that is growing the Kingdom of God, but when did we forget that being the church and making disciples was our “calling”, and not “get them to come to church, and count them so that we can feel adequate and good about ourselves”.

Sick to my stomach. A person isn’t a Christian if he/she comes to our church. We have not grown the Kingdom every time we get someone to fill out our “new attendee” cards. We fulfill the great commission when we show someone the love of Christ. When we do everything in our power and influence to help them stop fighting the flow of God’s story, but to let go and join him. Helping people freely accept God’s love and freely give it away.

In the new movie the Departed, Jack Nicholson’s character says this: “I don’t want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me.” If we need a measure or standard for our ministry/churches, isn’t that a more reasonable gage? Churches that aren’t products of their environment, but environments that are products of their churches.

Let’s change our world, and let’s start with ourselves: the leaders God has raised up to lead people.