love vs. reality: which hurts or bleeds more
For those hard core 80's fans, and for those who don't fear a public beating for admitting a fondness for Def Leppard, they famously sang a song with the words "love bites, love bleeds, it's bringing me to my knees"...in short...they said the love pretty much sucked but there was no way around it...
I have no quams with love...still hapilly married to a great woman..
I have problems with reality..no I'm not dilusional, but the sting of reality has hit me hard these past few weeks.
Who I thought I was, and who I thought I was going to become, doesn't look anything like I have ever dreamed. I've given up on a lot of dreams and hopes, those same hopes that drove me to make big jumps. And on the road to developing a "kingdom minded-ness" I've realized that the more and more I desire life to be about others, the more and more it will be about others, and less about me, which by all accounts SUCKS THE BIG ONE!!!
Unfortunately, the kingdom brings no garantees and does not negotiate with spiritual terrorist. God is still bigger than me and isn't impressed with my weapons of mass conversion (that one made me laugh inside...humor me).
So the new year is going to be different. One filled with more reality checks and less dilusions of ministry and ideas of grandeur that the church is what we dreamed it to be.
Why must a reality check feel so much like a prostate exam?
I have no quams with love...still hapilly married to a great woman..
I have problems with reality..no I'm not dilusional, but the sting of reality has hit me hard these past few weeks.
Who I thought I was, and who I thought I was going to become, doesn't look anything like I have ever dreamed. I've given up on a lot of dreams and hopes, those same hopes that drove me to make big jumps. And on the road to developing a "kingdom minded-ness" I've realized that the more and more I desire life to be about others, the more and more it will be about others, and less about me, which by all accounts SUCKS THE BIG ONE!!!
Unfortunately, the kingdom brings no garantees and does not negotiate with spiritual terrorist. God is still bigger than me and isn't impressed with my weapons of mass conversion (that one made me laugh inside...humor me).
So the new year is going to be different. One filled with more reality checks and less dilusions of ministry and ideas of grandeur that the church is what we dreamed it to be.
Why must a reality check feel so much like a prostate exam?
2 Comments:
Hi There Jason,
Yes sometimes reality really sucks big time ! It is a painful experience when our dreams and reality come no where close to matching!!! Make sure you do not get stuck on/in the "Shit" the world throws... church or other wize!!!Turn and look to the left and you will see a shimmer of light beaming from the most unexpected place. Allow the many moments of peace and joy fill your soul. Do not allow the garbage to steal the vision that God , Himself has given to you ,"given to you ".He who knows "all" about you, has given you a major role in His Kingdom. You have been choosen to be His Light Do not allow your light to be blown out stand strong knowing that He has placed you where He needs you to be.
Love you Brenda N.B
i have been thinking about this post for a while. prostrate exam? ouch!
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