High School Hauntings
This may come to a shock to all that know me, so you best be sitting down when you read this. I AM NOT COOL! Never was, and by most standards never will be, and I am fine with that. At least I thought I was.
Most people I know have fond memories of high school. Spending time with friends, skipping class, faking sick to go shoot some hoops, prom and other great stuff. I on the other hand HATED high school. I was such a reject. Bad hair, bad clothes, overweight, bad identity, bad self-view…you named it, and it fit the category of LOSER.
This past year I’ve really sensed a renewing of my identity in Christ, and a security in knowing that I was created this way for a reason. But something happened recently that brought all the past hurts and insecurities that I thought were long gone. It’s not important what happened, but only this: I was ignorant!
You see, I only let Jesus in part of the way. When rediscovering the image I was created in, I hooked on to the truth that I am loved for who I was made to me: Jason DeRoche. But I didn’t let God mend and heal the hurt of my past. Psalm 147:3 says that God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. What a great promise and hope. I’ve known that passage for at least 5 years and have never let it sink into the depths of my soul.
Here’s the point: God worked something bad for my good. What I felt, or what I felt was projected on me, was bad. There was no good from that whole situation (I thought). But what God, in his amazingly loving way, took that situation, used a dear friend of mine, and brought me to a place to show me a place of un-surrender and in need of brokenness. At this very moment, I feel very scared to let anyone into this part of my past, but it needs to be done, not so I can be a happier, but so I am freed to love others more abundantly. God is good.
Most people I know have fond memories of high school. Spending time with friends, skipping class, faking sick to go shoot some hoops, prom and other great stuff. I on the other hand HATED high school. I was such a reject. Bad hair, bad clothes, overweight, bad identity, bad self-view…you named it, and it fit the category of LOSER.
This past year I’ve really sensed a renewing of my identity in Christ, and a security in knowing that I was created this way for a reason. But something happened recently that brought all the past hurts and insecurities that I thought were long gone. It’s not important what happened, but only this: I was ignorant!
You see, I only let Jesus in part of the way. When rediscovering the image I was created in, I hooked on to the truth that I am loved for who I was made to me: Jason DeRoche. But I didn’t let God mend and heal the hurt of my past. Psalm 147:3 says that God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. What a great promise and hope. I’ve known that passage for at least 5 years and have never let it sink into the depths of my soul.
Here’s the point: God worked something bad for my good. What I felt, or what I felt was projected on me, was bad. There was no good from that whole situation (I thought). But what God, in his amazingly loving way, took that situation, used a dear friend of mine, and brought me to a place to show me a place of un-surrender and in need of brokenness. At this very moment, I feel very scared to let anyone into this part of my past, but it needs to be done, not so I can be a happier, but so I am freed to love others more abundantly. God is good.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home