...it's been a while...

The Christmas break has not met any of my expectations. I didn’t get much work done; in fact I would say that I got less done than none. Up until last night, I hadn’t had a conversation with my dad. He’s been working long hours, trying to tear down this building. He’s getting all the lumber for free so he wants to get all he can while he can. Last night though we rented a movie (around the world in 80 days, dad’s a big Jackie Chan fan) and after the movie we started talking. It was by far the best talk we’ve ever had. I started to talk about being careful not to make rash belief statements without knowing why we believe in them. We moved on from that to motives and honesty, personal honesty. He was talking about what he’s been doing and how far he’d come, and I couldn’t help but notice how much of him was involved in the process. It was as if he was helping God to fix himself. We started to explore the possibility that God does it all, and really it’s not about us. We talked about how God’s #1 concern was making sure we know that he loves us, and the rest really takes care of itself. That the freedom that Christ came to give us is found in the knowledge that God loves us, and that nothing we can do can change that, for better or worse. When we realize that this love is complete and understand what it means, I think we automatically respond to God with love. We love others freely. It no longer becomes a calculated ministry, but an overflow of the love pouring into our hearts from the Father. We then talked about how even if I never speak the name of Jesus ever again, that it’s ok. It doesn’t change God, and it doesn’t change his love for me. I’ll miss out on a great life serving him, but ultimately, God plan will be accomplished. Dad, baffled, offered only this reply: “I don’t get that, that it’s not our job or duty.” And that’s ok.
What a great time. This short cross-section of our hours of talking is a great sign, for two reasons. One, Dad is opening himself up to the possibility that there is more to God than what he is living, that there may be hidden motives that he’s unaware off. Second, it really made me aware of what God has done in my heart. So often this conversation was about me being right and making sure Dad knew it. But I sense that I don’t care if I’m right, but I do that I’m free. I don’t want to convince Dad anymore with knowledge and rhetoric, but I want him to know freedom, the way Christ intended it.
I hope we’ll get to talk again before I head back to school. Life is so much sweeter when laced with freedom.
Roach out.