light in the loafers

This past Tuesday I had the opportunity to worship in music with the staff of SLW. It was really cool. At the end of the music set, I nodded to the teacher for the day and tried to quietly move the music stand, wanting to protect the great sense of reverence that overcame the room. As I picked it up, the top came off and papers fell to the floor, prompting chuckles and giggles from the group. After that, I called N8 to see where the staff was meeting disrupting the prayer time they were having. Here's the point.
In the past, I have be insecure and fearful of failure. To screw up meant that I put in danger any favor I had gained. On Tuesday I would have worried all day, felt guilty and beat myself over not being more careful or considerate, even though all these things were beyond my control. But I realized today something incredible. it didn't bother me. I've come to a point in my journey, that I am comfortable enough with myself, secure enough in grace that this circumstance didn't bother me. Knowing that God loves me and that he is greater than my circumstances, was put to the test, and well, I feel great. I feel free from those chains.
You know, I've realized that us Christians can live our lives, unknowingly carrying chains. I say unknowingly, but what I mean is not wanting to know. But to come to a place where we can be honest with ourselves, being broken, realizing how needy we are...we see our chains, and when they are shed, we realize how slumped me walked, and how light a step can be when it is taken in the freedom the Christ died to give us.
Man, I've never felt so light.
Roach out.